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October 7, 2005

Dear Friends,

 

            I hope this newsletter greets you well! I am excited to be writing every week for the month of October. The reason it is exciting is because we have so many events and news that it is necessary to write every week. Just think of all the exhibits across the country much less across the world. So many lives are being touched and changed each day and with each awareness program!

            Below is an email that I received from Fr. Mike Crisostomo. It shows what a difference everyone makes with this project!

 

My Name is Fr. Mike Crisostomo, a catholic priest from the island of Guam. My sister, Therese and her daughter Erica died at the hand of her ex-husband and Father, Rudy. Since then I have become very active in the Silent Witness Initiative program on Guam. We currently have 13 witness silhouettes and one to remember the unnamed, or victims whose cases have yet to be determined. On Sep 30 this year, our Judiciary branch of government coordinated the event and candlelight ceremony to honor the victims of family violence. Leaders from the government and community as well as family members attended the event. These Red silhouettes are displayed throughout the year in the malls, churched, government buildings, schools, and other public places. I believe the founders of this initiative have set a courageous goal to rid violence by the year 2010. But we are optimistic, this goal can be achieved because of people who are at the front line working closely with other advocates and creating community partners to join in this effort to bring awareness and active participation to rid violence in the home and family. I thank God for people like you who continue to make a difference, especially for survivors of family and domestic violence. Thank you for all your hard work and commitment to family, women, and children.

Please realize what an amazing job each and every one of you does! This is another story and it was sent to me by Renee Youngberg and shows what a difference can be made in someone's life. Affecting one person's life in a good way is reward enough but the displays and shawls we affect anyone who comes into contact with it!

About 7 years ago my daughter was a victim of her then husband's drunken rages. Through the abuse he took my daughters self worth and honor. She will never be the same. She lies and mistrusts anyone and everyone and is constantly on the run. Other people judge her and think she should be over this by now. Range Womens Advocadacy helped hide her and the baby. What you are doing for these women and children is such a morale booster for the women (sometimes girls). There is so much domestic violence up here in Northern Minnsota. The men get so depressed because of the lay offs and they start to drink and use drugs and the women pay.

 How can I begin to put into words what the shawls have meant to my daughter and myself. They couldn't have come at a better time. My daughter has just moved again. She has nightmares and is constantly looking over her shoulder. My daughter cried with happiness and sadness when she got her shawl. Happiness because someone really cared about her. "But Mom, these people don't even know about me or what my ex-husband did. They can't give names away at the shelter." Sadness because she does not feel that she should have something so nice for herself. For Me, I wrap it around me when my Fibro is bad. Just gives me a calming effect. If you know who made these beautiful shawls please thank them dearly. I have so many bad memories that need to be buried. We love our shawls dearly. My daughter uses hers to comfort herself. She still has scars on her legs from the abuse.

We decided to go to the Wellstone memorial tomorrow. We will both make sure the shawls touch the stone. We live only 7 miles from the memorial. Your timing is impeccable. I wish I could say thank you enough. My daughter does not have a computer so this thank you is from the both of us.

When I am feeling better I would like to make a shawl or two for this Blessed organization. Thank you and your wonderful organization.

The Mother of a Domestic Violence Victim (survivor).

 

I would like to welcome our new newsletter subscribers:

Gidgett Thomas           Lancaster, Texas

Melissa Burnett             Meadville, PA

Annie    Lane                 Rochester, NY             

Rita         Barbioni           Augusta, ME

Kentrina  Broomfield      Fredericton , NB

Wanda    Adrian             Anderson , SC

Catalene Theriot            New Iberia, LA

Dorothy Lemmey           Chardon, Ohio

Chris     Ledman                         Iowa City, Iowa

Judy     DeSisti               Kendall, NY

Lorrie    Brenneman       Naperville, IL

Val       Freeman           Waterbury, CT

Elizabeth Cronin                                   

Kathy    Parker               Baytown, TX

Grace   Breshears         Ames, IA

Molly    Pawsey                         Tiffin, Ohio

Jo-Ann White                Jacksonville, FL

 

I would also like to welcome and thank the people who are going to start new exhibits in their area or bringing an existing exhibit to the area!

 

Molly M. Pawsey, France Hall Residence Coordinator at Heidelberg College

Becca Kitchell, Assistant Director of Residential Life at the University of New Haven in CT.

 

There are a few new things going on in the world of Silent Witnesses. The first is the website! We have changed the format so that anyone can get the cutouts for the silhouettes. All they need to do is go to www.silentwitness.net and click on the box that says Create A Silent Witness Exhibit. This will lead to a questionnaire that I hope everyone fills out about the new exhibit so we can keep track of where they are. Plus I will send those people some helpful hints J If you already have an exhibit but it is changing locations or the person coordinating it you may click on the other form that will update the exhibit information! Once that is done you can get the dimensions from that area in the website with no other hassle.

 

PLEASE HELP WE NEED COORDINATORS FOR THE FOLLOWING STATES:

Alabama

Arizona

Arkansas

Conneticut

Delaware

Georgia

Hawaii

Idaho

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky

Maine

Massachusetts

Mississippi

Montana

Nebraska

Nevada

New Hampshire

New Mexico

North Dakota

Ohio

Oregon

Pennsylvania

South Carolina

South Dakota

Tennessee

Utah

Vermont

Washington

Wisconsin

 

As you can see we still need many more coordinators! I know that there are people who help and loan exhibits across the state automatically so it would be great to get the information out there for everyone. Please let me know if there are state coordinators and I just do not know or if there isn't if you would like to volunteer!

 

I would like to thank the people that have taken on the amazing role of state coordinator:

Carlleen Cairns for Flordia

Collette Smith with the Louisiana Violence prevention Alliance for Louisiana

 

 

PLEASE SEND ME EVENTS FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH! I love email and phone calls J Please remember I am here to help in any way possible please just ask J


What's Up with Sheila's Shawls?

 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

 

Hug a survivor this month – with your arms -- or a shawl ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New State Coordinators: Claudia Duran in Salina, Kansas; Stephanie Whitehead in GA has a new email address: vipmacga@yahoo.com; Sherry Clark in Tulsa OK has a new email sherry@rsvptulsa.org ; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Volunteer Knitters:  Lesa Nelson (formerly State Coordinator) in NC;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Connections: Nell Plucy http://www.threadsofcompassion.bravehost.com where survivors of sexual abuse knit for other victims; LionBrand Charity Connections (see the description we use for such listings below):

Sheila's Shawls and Paul's Scarves is a national project that creates, collects, and distributes hand-knit, crocheted, sewn, or woven shawls and scarves to families and friends of victims of domestic violence, as well as to survivors themselves. 

We welcome folks to join our online group who may have an interest in helping this work move forward in ways that work for the individual and the group.  We each do what we can to help create and support domestic peace.

We welcome heartfelt donations of time, energy, and effort, Volunteer Knitters, State Coordinators, as well as monetary donations to help cover costs of creating and delivering shawls and scarves to those who can benefit from them.  We invite you to join us as we work to create and support domestic peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stories from the Field:

Hello Everyone -

Last Saturday I had a table at Theofest in Wheaton IL.     It was a beautiful day, so the event was well attended.

I probably ended up handing out about 50 or so flyers.   The owner of a Local Yarn Shop took a handful to put in her shop!  The actual bowl of Yarn was also a big draw --- lots of people stopped and squeezed the yarn!

I enjoyed working on my latest Shawl project throughout the day --- I feel this was well blessed my all of the people who attended the event.  We have a list of a half a dozen names --- will work later this fall to reconnect with everyone.  So I hope this helps to inspire everyone!

Danielle Byron, IL State Coordinator

PS  A Yarn Store wants to adopt us!  I received a call from the partner of the Yarn Shop owner who I met a couple of weeks ago at Theofest. She and her partner are very interested in sponsoring something for Sheila's Shawls!  They would like to be a collection point for our Shawls and perhaps offer a discount for yarn.     

Shawl and Scarf Knitting Baskets:

Judy Casserberg has a yarn shop in Knife River MN; and she has a basket in one of the corners of her shop where folks are welcome to sit and knit a bit on a healing shawl she keeps there in process for that purpose.  This kind of 'knitting basket' for shawls or scarves is also a great idea for churches and/or health practitioner waiting rooms. You can have a shawl or scarf in progress in the basket, along with a Sheila's Shawls hand-out and simple, clear instructions for how to add a few rows (or whatever) to the work in progress. Community in action!  Local public libraries, college libraries, hair salons, waiting rooms, are all good places to check in with to see if they'd like to have this kind of 'community knitting basket' available for folks while they sit and wait, or take time out from a busy day. Try it -- it may work well ;-)

Susan Bourne, VT State Coordinator

 

Did you know there are 42 yarn stores in Minnesota and you can find them all on the internet? I have contacted all 42 yarns stores and asked them to put a Shawl in Progress in their store, with brochures about Sheila's Shawls and information for the customers to pick up and take so they can make one of their own. Nobody has turned me down. When asked how it starts I do tell them that usually the store will donate the first yarn and needles, also a
place to place the Shawl in Progress. Then I mail or deliver the brochures and pattern (borrowed with permission from the Shawl ministry website. This is an on going community project and I tell the yarn store not to worry if it takes a year to complete a shawl. To find the stores in your state do a google websearch of yarn stores in your state.
Renee Youngberg, MN State Coordinator

PS  I also have 30 knitters at the school where I work and Janet Hagberg just made a connection for us to do a shawls project presentation at the community education program in North St. Paul. This will be my first public speaking appearance for Sheila's Shawls.

 

Renee, what a great idea and one that is working!   I will happily take the same community building action here in Oklahoma .  You're really taking off now! 

Sherry Clark, OK State Coordinator

 

I've been working on knitting shawls for Sheila's Shawls.   I hope to have a supply completed within 2 weeks, at which time, I will be in touch with Renee as to where to ship them.

CC, Volunteer Knitter in Minnesota

 

Hi, everyone.   I asked RSVP Tulsa volunteer knitters and crocheters to make shawls and scarves a couple of weeks ago and - voila! - they've completed 3 scarves and a shawl with more to come.  And, sorry to say, we have survivors to present them to - we've had many losses in Tulsa this year.  However, on a positive note, I'm on my way to Oklahoma City tomorrow for our State Attorney General's annual domestic violence superconference and will stay for a nighttime ceremony that will light the Capitol dome purple for the next three days.  To light the dome any color is a very rare thing for Oklahoma , and to light it purple is something we think we're probably the first state to do.  I'll take lots of pictures and share them with you and can't wait to frame them for corporate HR people to put in their offices.  It's a visual message that says, "DV Is Against the Law in Oklahoma !"

Sherry Clark, OK State Coordinator for Sheila's Shawls

Faces: Families and Communities Empowered for Safety and

RSVP/DVIS Court Watch, Tulsa, OK

 

While I was in the process of putting this newsletter together, a pastor from a local church called me about another matter and I asked her if she would be interested in having a shawl knitting basket.  She said she had some recollection of talk about knitting for folks among her congregation and suggested I contact the Women's Fellowship.  How's that for synchronicity?

Susan Bourne, VT State Coordinator

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's something adapted from Gaelic Runes we've suggested folks might like to include on a card with some of the shawls and scarves they knit and gift:

Deep peace of the running wave to you.

Deep peace of the flowing air to you.

Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.

Deep peace of the shining stars to you.

Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May there be domestic peace in every heart and every home.

Susan Bourne, Co-National Coordinator for Sheila's Shawls

NEWS FROM THE STATES and COUNTRIES:

Oklahoma :

Oklahoma State is having the exhibit displayed in their Student Union from 8 to 5 everyday next week.

 Maine :

From Susan Fuller:

I sat down to complete our new Silent Witness shields for our workshop this
afternoon and took the time to read the history and future of SW.  It was a
walk down memory lane.  Janet is absolutely right, the march on Washington
was amazing, inspiring, exhausting and one of those experiences that I will
carry with me always.  I just wanted to check in, briefly, because we are
right in the middle of workshops to update our Maine Silent Witness Exhibit.
We have updated to include other murder victims twice since our original
exhibit.

This year there was an art gallery - the Harlow Gallery - in Hallowell,
Maine whose Executive Director, Deb Fahy, wanted to do something significant
for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  They have created a space for local
artists, and other domestic violence exhibits - the Silent Witnesses, the
Domestic Violence Quilt, and "Empty Place at the Table" to display their
works.  It is called "Transforming Violence - an exhibit, a lecture series ,
an experience, a call to action".

The really awesome thing is that they have also held a series of workshops
in their gallery space to create our new Silhouettes.  Three of our new
Silent Witnesses will be on display throughout the month of October.  And we
will be participating in other workshops around the state throughout the
month, ending up in Fort Kent, which is far enough away that we have to
leave on Sunday to be at the Monday workshop.  It is always exciting when
the community is involved, but it is amazing for me to watch the Maine
Silent Witness Project take on a life of its own and really share in the
coordination of this most recent update.

When our Exhibit is completed, our ten local domestic abuse projects will
house portions of the Exhibit and use them within their community education
work.  In Maine, our only stipulation to use the Exhibit has been that folks
coordinate with their local DV service providers.  That way we are sure they
are getting up to date and accurate information specific to their area.  And
it allows the local DV projects to be prepared for the influx of calls they
often get when you raise community awareness about this issue.

I also have to mention how very, very fortunate I am.  When I originally
booked the time for the workshops in the beginning of October, I didn't
realize that it coincided with a yoga retreat at the end of September which
I had previously registered for.  I was sure that I would have to give up
the yoga retreat.  However, my wonderfully supportive partner and assistant
in the project offered to take on the entire weekend of workshops without
me.  I am the luckiest person with blessings beyond belief!

Happy October to everyone.  Remember to breath, walk, and take time to watch
the leaves change.


Minnesota:

Sent to me from Renee Youngberg but was a story sent to her:

 I wanted to share a Sheila Shawl/Paul Scarf story with you and others who so lovingly make these gifts.  Asian Women United of Minnesota invited me to be a speaker at a vigil they held for Sheng Vang, a 21 year old woman who was stabbed to death by her estranged husband when she agreed to meet him to obtain legal documents she needed to get a passport.  Sheng¹s mother, Mai
Khang, her father and her 2 year old daughter, were present at the vigil. As a result of your generosity, I was able to give Mai Khang, her husband and their granddaughter visible symbols of the community¹s sorrow and wish for comfort for them.    Thank you!

I was also present at a vigil for Mikayla Tester-Olson, 5, who was shot by her father, John Tester, who then turned the gun on himself.   Tester was granted unsupervised visitation even though he had been abusive to Mikayla¹s mother and had been jailed four times for violating her order for protection against him.  Leigh Ann Olson buried her daughter Mikayla on September 9th,
2004 ­ the day Mikayla was supposed to start kindergarten!   Leigh Ann was unable to attend the vigil held in October but had her advocate read her first public statement since Mikayla had been murdered.   I was able to again, send a visible sign of the community¹s loss and desire to provide
comfort and commitment to Leigh Ann to work to end domestic violence.

 NATIONAL NEWS:

From CAPEV updates:

American Express
American Express in Phoenix, AZ will be holding brown bag sessions for employees and leader sessions for managers at four locations on October 4th and 5th. CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells will be one of the presenters.

Avon Foundation
The Avon Foundation is proud to announce the upcoming release this fall of the informational CD, Speak Out Against Domestic Violence: What You Can Do To Help. The new CD answers important questions such as:

·         If you are concerned that someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, what should you do?

·         If someone shares her painful secret of domestic violence, what should you say?

·         If you are a victim of domestic violence, where can you turn?

Seven out of ten domestic violence victims tell someone about the abuse they are experiencing. You can be the person offering support, information and resources. This new CD will help you learn about domestic violence so you'll feel comfortable talking to someone who might be a victim. The CD is not intended to make you an expert, but it will provide you with basic information, tips and resources. The CD is funded by the Avon Foundation and is being developed by the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. The CD will be available this fall. For more information in the coming months and to reserve your free copy, please e-mail info@avonfoundation.org and note in the subject line "CD Inquiry."

The Avon Foundation also continues to make their Speak Out Against Domestic Violence Bracelet available. The small price of $3.00 will raise money that can help save the lives of those trapped in the cycle of domestic violence, and the message you carry on your wrist just may raise the awareness of someone who needs help. Click here to purchase the Speak Out Against Domestic Violence Bracelet.

CAEPV
In addition to coordinating member company events and activities throughout October, CAEPV presents the results of its 10th Anniversary National Telephone Benchmarking Survey. This first-ever national survey of adults across the US discovers what the general employee population believes about domestic violence as a workplace issue. The following CAEPV Member companies are sponsors of this survey:

·         Verizon Wireless -- Lead Sponsor

·         Blue Shield of California Foundation

·         State Farm Insurance Company

·         Liz Claiborne Inc.

·         Mary Kay Inc.

·         Park National Bank

Central Illinois CAEPV Members and Friends
Central Illinois CAEPV Members and Friends will participate in " It's Time To Talk Day" events on October 11. Examples of activities include distributing educational materials in workplaces, holding seminars for employees, including domestic violence information, tying purple ribbons to law enforcement vehicle antennas, displaying Silent Witness Project silhouettes in prominent areas, hanging posters in workplaces, holding a Candlelight vigil and march on the evening of October 11 (McLean County Historical Museum) and working with media partner, Radio Bloomington.

Illinois State University
The Illinois State University Police Department will air the CRIME STOPPERS TV episode entitled: "Domestic Violence" in the University Residence Halls October 9th-14th, as part of "It's Time To Talk Day." This initiative is in collaboration with the Corporate Alliance Against Domestic Violence of which Illinois State University is an active member. Dates and times will be provided to the Daily Vidette and the Illinois State University Report in an effort to disseminate this information. 

Lifetime Television
Lifetime Television is offering two FREE brochures in English and Spanish that can be given to employees, customers, clients, etc. in October. One, titled "It's a Team Effort," features the images and insight of a variety of sports figures, actors and performers - from singer/songwriter Ashanti to New York Giants running back Tiki Barber - all speaking out against domestic violence and sexual assault. The second offers 10 Ways Women and Men Can Stop Violence, with a pull-out card to keep in your wallet. Contact Lauren Frederick at Lifetime at frederick@lifetimetv.com with requested quantities (up to 500 can be ordered) and a mailing address.

On October 24 and 25, Lifetime Television presents its two-part original miniseries, Human Trafficking, starring Mira Sorvino, Donald Sutherland and Robert Carlyle. The program will air on October 24th at 9 PM (Eastern and Pacific), and conclude on October 25th at 9 PM (Eastern and Pacific). Human Trafficking is a tough, uncompromising drama about the brutal realities behind the international trafficking of women and children for sex and the battle to rescue its victims enslaved in America.

Liz Claiborne Inc.
Liz Claiborne will donate $1.00 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), for every order placed on www.lizclaiborne.com during October. In addition, they will sponsor " It's Time to Talk Day" on October 11, 2005 with a series of events designed to bring awareness to the important issue of domestic violence. These events include a text messaging poll with Verizon Wireless, launch of their Love Is Not Abuse dating violence curriculum around the country, a Safe in the Workplace Company Hotline where HR managers from across the country can call CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells and Liz Claiborne Vice President of Associate Relations Dennis Butler, ending with Liz Claiborne CEO Paul Charron ringing the closing bell of the NYSE.

Mary Kay Inc.
On Thursday, October 20th, PBS will be airing a new documentary underwritten by The Mary Kay Ash Charitable Foundation. Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories is a powerful new documentary that chronicles the long-term effects of domestic violence on children. From the adult children of abuse to those experiencing the trauma today, this new television special features moving and unforgettable profiles of those struggling to put their lives back together. To check for local airtimes, go to www.pbs.org, input your zip code and your local stations will appear. Then search for Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories. Airing of the documentary provides a forum around which advocates and communities can gather to focus on the issue. For details about the program content and its award-winning producers, please go to http://www.cptv.org/BTS.htm.

Northern Trust
On November 2nd and 3rd, CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells will present to employees and managers at Northern Trust in Chicago .

RAND
The Congressional Affairs Office of RAND has organized a briefing for interested Members and staff on the topic of Teen Dating Violence and has highlighted some findings from a large CDC-funded RAND evaluation on the topic.

The Sam M. Walton College of Business at the University of Arkansas
On November 11th, The Sam M. Walton College of Business at the University of Arkansas will present an Intimate Partner Violence and the Workplace Conference . The keynote speaker for this conference is CAEPV Board President Jane Randel. Other presenters include CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells, CAEPV Advisory Board Member Robin Runge, Diane Delucci of Macy's West, and many others.

State Farm Great Lakes Zone
The Administrative Services Loss Prevention Unit of the State Farm Great Lakes Zone will be hosting Domestic Violence Awareness Sessions in Illinois, Indiana , and Michigan. Posters will be prominently displayed in public areas such as breakrooms or lunchrooms and handouts will also be available to employees. Displays will be staffed during lunch times so that employee questions can be answered. 

State Farm Insurance Companies (Corporate)
State Farm Insurance Companies hosts Domestic Violence and Crime Prevention Awareness efforts with displays and materials available to employees in several locations throughout the State Farm campuses the week of October 10 - 14. Information will be available to employees on State Farm Workplace Security, Domestic Violence, and Crime Prevention at Bloomington Corporate facilities. Examples of activities and events include The Silent Witness Exhibit, presentations by CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells, and Normal Police Lieutenant Mark Kotte, "It's Time To Talk" information posted on the State Farm Intranet site, articles in corporate employee newspaper/publications, and a flyer with a listing of all activities placed on all Corporate employees desks prior to the week of October 10.

Verizon Wireless
Verizon Wireless and Liz Claiborne have joined forces to conduct a text-messaging poll using wireless phones to help raise awareness of domestic violence. From October 1st through October 21st, any cell phone user can participate in the poll by sending a message with the word "TALK" to ENDDV (36338), and subsequently they will be asked if they want to participate in a poll inquiring if they know someone who is a victim or perpetrator of domestic violence. The results of the poll will be announced at the end of October. Standard message rates apply.

From Lois Herman:

Personal Safety Planning - Victims of Domestic Violence

If you are in a violent relationship, one of the most important steps you can take is to make a safety plan both for home and the workplace. These plans contain simple but critical steps you can take to increase your safety while you deal with the violence you face in your personal life.

  • Memorize a Crisis Intervention number, in Minnesota the number is 1-866-223-1111
  • If you are in danger, dial 911
  • You may also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for information about services in your area.
  • Be aware of local domestic violence programs and other resources.  Check in with them if you are confused or unsure about what is happening in your relationship.
  • Be aware of your partner's abusive cues including their demeanor, expressions, threats, actions, etc.
  • Be aware of your own cues in reaction to your partner's cues, these can help you know when to seek a safe place to stay
  • Talk with advocates and supportive friends and family about the abuse before it continues to escalate and occur again.

o        you do not have to keep this a secret.  

o        ask about your options and what you can do

In case you have to flee, have the following available:

·         important papers such as birth certificate, social security cards, insurance information, school and health records, welfare and immigration documents, and divorce or other court documents

·         credit cards, back account number and ATM cards

·         some money

·         extra set of keys

·         medication and prescriptions

·         phone numbers and addresses for family, friends, doctor, lawyers and community agencies

·         clothing and comfort items for you and your children

If you had the perpetrator evicted or are living alone, you may want to:

·         change locks on doors and windows

·         install a better security system

·         teach children to call the police or family and friends if they are taken

·         talk to school and childcare providers about who has permission to pick up the children

·         find a lawyer who knows about family violence to talk about custody, visitation and divorce provisions that protect you and your children

·         obtain a restraining order

If you are leaving your abuser, ask yourself the following questions:

·         how and when can you most safely leave? where will you go?

·         are you comfortable calling the police if you need them?

·         who can you trust to tell you are leaving?

·         how will you travel safely to and from work or school to pick up your children?

·         what community and legal resources will help you feel safer?

·         do you know the number of a local shelter? 

·         what custody and visitation provisions will keep you and your children safe?

·         is a restraining order a viable option?

If you are staying with your abuser, think about:

·         what works best to keep you safe in an emergency

·         who can you call in a crisis

·         whether you would call the police if the violence starts again? can you work out a signal with the children or the neighbors to call the police when you really need help?

·         if you need to flee for a short time, where will you go? think through many places where you can go in a crisis. 

·         if you need to flee your home, know the escape routes in advance.

WORKPLACE SAFETY PLANNING

At work, you may want to:

·         save threatening emails or voicemail messages. you can use them to take legal action in the future, if you choose. if you already have a restraining order, the messages can serve as evidence in court that the order was violated.

·         park close to the entrance of the building. talk to security, the police, or a manager if you fear an assault at work.

·         have your calls screened, transfer harassing calls to security, or remove your name and number from automated phone directories.

·         relocate your workspace to a more secure area.

·         obtain a restraining order and make sure it is current and on hand at all times. include your workplace in the order. a copy should be provided to; the police, the your supervisor, human resources, the reception area, the legal department, and security.

·         provide a picture of the perpetrator to reception areas and/or security.

·         identify an emergency contact person should your employer be unable to contact you.

·         ask security to escort you to and from your car or public transportation.

·         look into alternate hours or work locations.

·         review the safety of your childcare arrangements, whether it is on-site childcare at the company or off-site. if you have a restraining order, it can usually be extended to the childcare center.

portions adapted from the newsletter of  Women's Advocates, Inc.

 

Poem kindly sent to WUNRN by Hilkka Pietila

of Finland who is part of WUNRN.

 

Excerpt from "A Women's Creed", written in the Women's Global Strategies Meeting in New York 1994 by Robin Morgan together with Perdita Huston, Sunetra Puri, Mahnaz Afkhami, Diane Faulkner, Corinne Kumar, Sima Wali, and Paola Melchior and 140 other women from 50 countries.

 

Women's Vision for a Culture of Peace

Bread. A clean sky. Active peace.
A woman's voice singing somewhere,
melody drifting like smoke from the cookfires.
The army disbanded, the harvest abundant.
The wound healed, the child wanted, the prisoner freed,
the body's integrity honored, the lover returned.
The magical skill that reads marks into meanings.
The labor equal, fair, and valued.
Delight in the challenge for consensus to solve problems.
No hand raised in any gesture but greeting.
Secure interiors - of heart, home, land - so firm
as to make secure borders irrelevant at last.
And everywhere laughter, care, celebration, dancing, contentment.
A humble, earthly paradise, in the now.

Sincerely,

Cassie Pritchard

Cassie.pritchard@gmail.com

(405)744-1113

--
Cassie Pritchard
Stinchcomb and Booker Suites
Residence Director

"Vision without action is merely a dream.
Action without vision just passes the time.
Vision with action can change the world."
-Joel Barker



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